i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
