real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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