New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
