All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
