Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
