The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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