Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
