New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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