just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
