Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
