pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
