actually, I'm a sock model
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
