I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
