i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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