If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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