someone get that fucking seahorse.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
