this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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