So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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