His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
