I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
