I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I checked into jail on foursquare
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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