I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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