It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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