I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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