fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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