first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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