the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
