We're facebook friends in real life
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
These tits shall not be calmed
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