So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
