just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Can I color on your dick again?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
