my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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