I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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