i just wanna soil my oats bro
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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