i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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