Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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