I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
