Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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