I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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