I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
