Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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