i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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