i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
