I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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