Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
