i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
