Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Randomize
