East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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