Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
