i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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