She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
