We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
