sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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